Disneyland Attractions for Wimps

I'm posting this with a particular friend in mind, but there are plenty of people who are going to Disneyland with family or friends and are not too keen on any remotely "wild" attractions. So this is my list of attractions that are extremely calm and pleasant. All roller coasters and thrill rides have been completely nixed with the faint of heart in mind.

1) Main Street Transportation: Disneyland railroad, Omnibus, Fire Engine, Horse-drawn trolley, and Horseless Carriage.

All of these modes of transportation are relatively slower than the people walking on Main Street, so I think your wimpy friend can handle it. Unless for some reason they are deathly afraid of horses.

2) *Fantasyland Dark Rides: *Snow White's Scary Adventure, *Pinocchio's Daring Journey, *Mr. Toad's Wild Ride, *Peter Pan's Flight, *Alice in Wonderland, Roger Rabbit's Car Toon Spin (Mickey's Toon Town), Winnie the Pooh (Critter Country), Monsters, Inc. (Hollywood Land - California Adventure), and Ariel's Undersea Adventure (Paradise Pier - California Adventure).

Although I don't feel that these kiddy rides are suitable for every child (they really are "dark," both visually and sometimes conceptually), the rides themselves are very tame. You don't have to fear falling out at any moment or crashing into anything. Mr. Toad's "Wild" Ride has a couple sharp turns, but all extremely grounded.

3) Just Cruisin': Monorail, Mark Twain Riverboat, Sailing Ship Columbia

Depending on your level of fear, the Monorail may pose a threat since it is on a raised track that almost makes it look like a roller coaster, but it is far from it. To me, the ride itself resembles more of a ride on a city bus than anything else. Besides, you get a lovely view of the park and surrounding area. The Mark Twain and Columbia provide calm floats along the shallow Rivers of America.

4) it's a small world after all:

This ride is so tame that there are literally no capital letters in the official title of the ride itself. Despite the world being so small, you will still hear the song repeated nearly twenty times as you travel the "happiest cruise that ever sailed."

5) Jungle Cruise:

Speaking of happy cruises, the Jungle Cruise may advertise adventure and danger, but it's more likely to tickle your funny bone than anything else. Each boat's skipper lays the puns on real thick while you stay safe from the animatronic wildlife around every turn. The only thing to fear on this ride are the bad jokes.

6) Interactive Game Rides: Buzz Lightyear Astro-Blasters (Tomorrowland) and Toy Story Midway Mania (Paradise Pier - California Adventure).

All the cars in these rides stay fully grounded and move just above a snail's pace as you shoot at virtual targets to rack up points against your opponent. This is most fun that the wimpy visitor can have! Expect to wait in a long line for Midway, otherwise go do it early in the morning.

7) Miniaturize it: Casey Jr. Circus Train and Storybook Land Canal boats (Fantasyland), Heimlich's Chew Chew Train (a bug's land - California Adventure).

Casey Jr. is a peaceful train ride through Storybook Land, or float through on the canal boats to view the miniature cottages and castles of Fairy Tales. If feeling like a giant isn't for you, then shrink down to bug size and chew your way through Heimlich's favorite snacks in a bug's land.

8) Motion Simulators and Screens: Star Tours (Tomorrowland) and Soarin' over California (Grizzly Peak - California Adventure)

Watching a screen as a simulator bumps you around is just not believable enough to be scary for many people. Soarin' over California does raise you up in the air (indoors) as your feet dangle, which may make some nervous, but the air conditioning is well worth it on a hot day.

9) Just Spins: King Arthur's Carousel (Fantasyland), King Triton's Carousel (Paradise Pier - California Adventure), Dumbo the Flying Elephant (Fantasyland), Astro-Orbiters (Tomorrowland), and Silly Symphony Swings and Golden Zephyr (Paradise Pier - California Adventure).

The carousels are obviously the calmest of all of these, unless you get really bad motion sickness. Dumbo and Astro-Orbiters also just spin, but with added height. If those aren't for you then you will really not like Silly Symphony Swings (much like a typical fair attraction, and much higher than the previous two), and the Golden Zephyr is pretty lame anyway, you won't miss out on much.

Tame for most, but not all:

Pirates of the Caribbean: Most of the ride is a slow float, except for those two waterfalls at the beginning of the ride. Those who don't like drops - Ye Be Warned.

Haunted Mansion: Although the ride itself is slow and easy-going, some may not care for the creepy content especially in the stretching room. Otherwise the rest of the ride is filled with relatively "happy haunts," which I personally enjoy.

Tarzan's Treehouse: For most, it may be just a bunch of stairs and bridges. But those who have an extreme fear of heights, this is a trying experience.

Finding Nemo Submarine Voyage: This may be one of the most boring rides in the park, it doesn't even go underwater. But those who suffer from claustrophobia may have a difficult time in this enclosed space.

Of course, Disneyland is not all rides. There is plenty of food, shopping, shows, and other entertainment all around. If you're a true wimp, then you're pretty used to being in charge of everyone's bags and people-watching anyway, right?


(I can't take credit for any photos on this post, all were taken from google images)